“Mistakes are your child’s springboard to success.” —Perry Cocking

Nobody likes to see their child make mistakes, especially in public. Competitive managers also don’t like their players to make mistakes as it might cost them goals and might mean losing matches. However, if children aren’t allowed to be creative, try things, and learn what works and what doesn’t by making mistakes, then they are unlikely to fulfil their potential. This is why we have non-competitive football for our younger players in England. It’s supposed to be a time when there is no pressure and children are free to experiment, try things, make mistakes and fall in love with the game. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always work out that way, with parents and managers becoming increasingly competitive.

I believe Under 7s and Under 8s should be pretty much left alone to play and express themselves. It’s not easy, though, as managers and parents get frustrated and try to force things to look more like adult football. Training at this age should all be about the ball. Learning the fundamental movements, skills and techniques, and matches should be about creativity, self-expression, exploration and mistakes.

It’s difficult for a parent to sit back and watch their child make mistakes and look like they don’t know what they are doing, but trust me, it’s the best way for them to learn and will benefit them massively in the long run. It’s even harder for parents when their child plays for a competitive manager and all the other children’s parents are encouraging the children to “pass the ball”, “get stuck in”, and “spread out into space”.

Under 9s to Under 11s should still be mostly about ball mastery and learning the fundamentals of the game, but now is a good time to try different positions and learn a bit more about the game. From secondary school age, the emphasis can start shifting a bit more towards team play and learning how to be competitive and win. However, players should always be encouraged to try things and to play without fear. If a player is afraid to make mistakes, then they will always choose the easy option, especially if performance anxiety sets in due to feeling the pressure from parents and coaches.

The top players do the basics, the fundamentals of the game, better than the majority of others. Michael Jordan, possibly the best basketball player of all time, started every practice session with the basic chest pass. A basic move he would have learned when he was five years old but something he felt was still vital for him to practice maintaining high performance. The best players in any sport do the basics consistently well, whether under pressure or not. Players can’t do this if they haven’t spent a lot of time practising them at a young age.

The real top players are also capable of moments of magic. Unless children are given the opportunity to try things and explore the possibilities without fear of reprimand, then they are very unlikely to develop into players who are capable of these magic moments. How can they be if they’ve never been allowed to try things and have always felt under pressure not to make mistakes!? Managers can often compound this by not giving children the experience of playing in a variety of positions other than the one their Under 7 managers first gave them! Playing in one position and having a fear of making mistakes are two top ingredients of average and mediocrity. Please don’t strive for mediocrity. Strive for the moon, and you might just land upon the stars. There are many more important things in life than football, but football can give your child many important things for life. This is one of them.

When children used to play in the parks and streets, there was always a chance for them to develop creativity and be capable of moments of magic. This was where they would try things and express themselves without any pressure. Those days are sadly gone in a lot of areas, and many children never get the chance to simply play. And that’s how children get really good; not by being overcoached, not by playing in organised matches, but by playing the game in its purest form. So, try to keep the pressure off your child as much as possible. If your child is playing for a manager who doesn’t allow mistakes and for children to express themselves, then it might be time to move them somewhere where the environment is more conducive to development, learning and the bigger picture.

Please encourage your children to be curious, try things and explore possibilities. It’ll be one of the best gifts you can give them. Curiosity is one of a child’s superpowers and is a character trait needed for 21st-century adults too. You can’t use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have.

“I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.” – Albert Einstein

This blog was taken from my book, Did You Win, Did You Score…? How to Help Your Child Succeed at Football and Life.

Available to purchase on Amazon:

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