“The greatest mistake is allowing your child to fear making them” —Perry Cocking

This is something I have seen quite a bit over the years. From simple thumbs up or thumbs down to indicate their feelings towards their child’s performance to different amounts of fingers being used as code for different things. I have had children who have gotten into the habit of looking at their parent(s) after every action and decision they’ve made on the pitch, seeking approval. I’ve even seen it at training where parents have been stood high up on a balcony in a sports hall!

Football is their time. The game is about them and not you, so let them play, express themselves and enjoy it. Playing under this sort of pressure is stifling and can really negatively affect their development. Anything that affects the decision-making process is wrong, and having the pressure of possibly doing the wrong thing in Mum and Dad’s eyes means they will develop a fear of making mistakes.

It’s always interesting to me that most ex-pros and professional coaches I speak to are advocates of simply letting their own children play, and they have very little involvement in their coaching. They choose to leave it to the coaches and only offer support, guidance and advice if it’s asked for. Yet there are thousands of mums and dads out there that are suddenly experts in football coaching and children’s development. So much so that they feel they need to impart their advice, often undermining the coaches, sometimes simply because they’ve played a few Sunday league games or like to watch Match of the Day. I’ve even known one dad to always keep his son’s water bottle with him so that his son has to run over during breaks so that he can impart his wisdom

and feedback. As far as I’m aware, the guy played a few low-division Sunday League games and has never done any coaching badges! Trust in the coaches, and if you don’t, then maybe think about finding a team where you do trust them; just be careful of continually moving clubs (see Chapter 121). Moving clubs should only really be considered if your child is unhappy or if the coaches prioritise winning over the development and well-being of the children.

Mistakes are vital in the learning process, and children need to try things without fear of retribution to find out what works and what doesn’t. They need to explore all possibilities for themselves. If you are constantly giving your child feedback during training and matches, then you are taking away this process, and it will more than likely lead to a child who plays within themselves and will never fulfil their potential.

This blog was taken from my book, Did You Win, Did You Score…? How to Help Your Child Succeed at Football and Life.

Available to purchase on Amazon:

http://tinyurl.com/NewBookDetails

Listen to the audio version of this blog (and others) along with my thoughts on the topic here:

Apple Podcasts

Spotify